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3-6-08 // 11:55 am is it a knock on an early grave NP: Trash Can Sinatras - "Weightlifting" Oh my god, they changed the d-land layout! It's kind of hard to read. Frankly, I'm astonished that it didn't change in over 8 years. There was always something ridiculous yet vaguely comforting about that powder blue 'n' kitty cat screen. So, here I am. I'm almost 28 years old, I live in Oakland, California with the girl I had a crush on in high school, and she's turned out to be the most amazing, mature, thoughtful, fun, sweet, interesting person I could ever hope to meet, let alone be with, in my entire life. I moved out here, I got a new job & traded swords for plowshares. For the most part, I love it! I'm about to make a lateral move to a new department in the university, actually. I own a wet suit, a surfboard with hot rod flames on & have a roof rack on my car. I take the subway to work, and I'm surrounded by more awesome, local beer than I can shake a stick at. I don't own an air conditioner and I don't *need* to. I'm able to eat right and exercise the way I want to, as part of my regular day-to-day activities, for the first time in my life. It's spectacular to be in a place with a person and have them both suit me to a T. I miss my family. A lot. I won't lie about this. My folks have come out to visit me once, and I've been back 4 or 5 times to see them. Twice a year is better than nothing, but it's not what I crave. I feel like I've made my peace with the 2,075 miles between my past and present, but that's not to say there still aren't moments of nostalgia, or simply intense homesickness. But it doesn't destroy me like it did when I first made the move. Now it's simply an emotion, one of many, and one that doesn't usually linger very much. Friends too, I miss my friends dearly. I dunno, everyone is so spread out these days. Steve is in north county St. Louis, Ryan H is still down there in our college town, Ryan S finally got married and is now living in Japan for a year and change. Adam W is back in the picture, and I seem him whenever I'm back in the STL, which is awesome. But for the most part, everyone is sort of moving in their own directions. So it's not like even if I was still back there I wouldn't be dealing with some of the same issues. But there's also a difference between a day trip and 2/3 of a continent away. The good news is that I'm slowly but surely making a few friends out here! It took the better part of two years, but it's happening, and I'm overjoyed! Going to a concert this Sunday night with my pal Dylan, as a matter of fact. The more I realize that there's nothing wrong with making new friends, and that the new friends won't be as "deep" as the old ones, at least not right away, the more I've thrived. That said, there are still days where I simply crave and *need* a friend I've known for a decade. I get upset when I can't simply call them up, buy 'em a drink and spill my guts. But then I make that phone call or send an email or whatever, and I realize they're still there, and that they always will be. It's just different. Not gone, just different. I feel like I've gotten much better at adaptation and reinvention. Sarah helps me with that immensely. She has an innate knack for helping wedge me out of my comfort zone. Don't get me wrong, I like my zone, but I need to get out of it from time to time. She's amazing at helping me strike a balance between the two. I'm studying Chinese at the local community college. I'm in semester #2, and so far, I love it and I'm fairly good at it! Got an "A" last semester, and if I play my cards right, I'm sure I can get one this semester, too. Wo shuo Zhongwen hao! My photography is coming along nicely. I desperately need a new camera, but I'm definitely seeing a progression in my skills. I landed my first paid gig last summer (a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks), and bizarrely, a Russian travel magazine is going to publish one of my photos in their latest issue. I guess if I had to sum it all up, at this point in my life, I work very had, but I also play very hard. I'm setting goals and achieving them. It's a good feeling, it's a healthy feeling, and I'm constantly amazed and thankful that I'm doing it with the best partner a guy could ever, ever hope to come across. My sinuses are absolutely killing me today. Some things never change. 
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