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6-5-08 // 4:25 pm angst-bot 3000 NP: Legi�o Urbana - "O Descobrimento Do Brasil" I'm homesick something fierce today. Or maybe it's not homesickness, but it's this craving for an accepting group. Today I want a friend. The problem is, I don't want to talk on the phone. I don't want to deal with time differentials, not being able to see facial expressions, etc. I want to go to the pub with a person who truly understands me, will listen, will regale me with tales from their day, and will make me feel like I belong. The one guy out here who I could even ring up and go grab a beer with is out of town, flying back to Ohio for several days. Something else, too -- and this is going to sound *so* selfish -- but I want someone to call *me*. I feel childish even saying it, but I don't want to have to always be the instigator, be the person who stokes the flames of friendships. I suppose right this moment I need someone calling up or emailing or coming round saying "hey, I was thinking about you, how are ya?" I'm vaguely feeling like my summer's ending before it can begin. June's here, and instead of sleeping in, going surfing, hiking and heading out on photography excursions, cooking out on the balcony, and spending lots of sorely-needed quality time together, she's right back into that 24/7 work mode. It's not a personal knock, I know that's how it has to be right now. I just had this fantasy that the "school taking over our lives" aspect of the past 9 months straight might take a quick breather. Instead, there's all this off-season stuff to deal with on that front, plus her work and my work, and her work gets taken home with her most nights. I am a selfish, childish man today, but so be it. I'm going to buy a beer on the way home and maybe watch the Cards game with the early evening sun spilling in through my balcony door, and I'll feel far less angsty. I hope.
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