 |
|
6-27-08 // 11:02 am boys and girls in america have such a sad time together So I guess I'm on my own for the time being. I can't remember the last time I felt this stifled, this frustrated. I'm not sad, I'm not angry. Not really. But I feel all dressed up with nowhere to go. It makes me want to listen to Mark Kozelek projects and the fucking Hold Steady all day long, and I often do. More free time, yes, but with just as much, if not even more, effort, far less money and no company. That's what gets me, I think -- that I put all my eggs in the basket of a summer reprieve from the grind, from constant work and self-sacrifice. Instead, it's more of the same. Different schedules and parallel lives -- I'm an apparition, only partially of this plane. It's partly my fault, I suppose, for not being better at making friends. Whatever, I'm going to the pub tonight with the one quasi-friend I've made in my last three years in exile. That's if he doesn't cancel on me yet again. See, look how negative and cynical I've become lately. It's not becoming! But it's an easy hole to fall into. "Crushing each other with colossal expectations." Heh.
|