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8-21-08 // 10:57 am another travelin' song 8.16.08 Today I left California. I teared up saying goodbye to Monkey; Ava wouldn't come out from under the bed. Sarah came by to drop off the car and was typically stressed out/weird. The drive to Reno was easy - only 200 or so miles, passed with NPR and Coldplay. Beers & video blackjack in downtown Reno at a super busy brewpub next to the river. It was gay pride weekend and there was a big festival kicking along the river walk. Something that may or may not have been Melissa Etheridge was blasting from the little amphitheater on the mini-island. I spent the rest of the twilight taking photos & examining the hulking neons. It felt good to finally roll my sunroof down on a desert evening on the way back to the motel. Takeout pho, Sportscenter and sleep are all good things. I'm so optimistic/looking forward to the rest of this trip, not to mention getting home. Reno is both cute and obnoxious. Gloriously, unexpectedly fun to visit, but I'd probably go postal if I had to spend more than two or three days here. 8.17.08 Reno to Salt Lake was relatively easy, only about 550 miles. Got there in once piece and even survived the mind-numbing desolation of northern Nevada. The first part of Utah isn't tons better, but at least at that point the Bonneville Salt Flats kick in and you can daydream about rocket cars shooting across trying to set land speed records. So, Aline. Aline. Whoa. It was like meeting a ghost or a rumor or a goddess from ancient legend suddenly made corporeal. I mean we were what, teenagers? 18, 19 years old when we first started talking online? We had that mutual attraction and infatuation of isolated, romantic youth. International phone calls, letters, videos, packages of trinkets, mix tapes. I guess I had an internet girlfriend. I had her picture up on my dorm room wall. It was the first time in my life I'd had someone want me, someone say "I love you, Michael". Of course it couldn't actually work out - we lived on different continents, we were too young, I was still in college, and at the time she was still pretty hardcore religious. I think I upset her really badly at the time when I realized all that and told her so, although that was 8/9 years ago by now. Deep in the past. I've had numerous dreams over the years where I actually met her, only to wake up alone, confused, and let down. We were even supposed to get together in Seattle on my fall break in 2001, she asked me to come up and see her - I even bought a plane ticket. But she told me her work situation was falling apart and that I shouldn't come after all, so I didn't...I was heartbroken. So flash forward 7 years, and I was a nervous, excited wreck waiting in the hotel room, trying to pay attention to a random baseball game on TV. It was like going on a first date with a woman you know in advance you have absolutely no chance with. She and her husband Trevor picked me up in the hotel parking lot. Aline was leaning against the side of the car, saw me & came up and gave me a huge hug. And all I wanted to do was hold her for, I dunno...a week? But I resisted - there are rules of behavior for these sorts of things - and I introduced myself to Trevor, shook his hand. He was a little bit quiet at first but very interesting, fun and really thoughtful. I saw immediately why the two of them were so good and happy together. He joined the National Guard like 7 years ago then got shipped off to Iraq even though he only signed up to pay for college. It was interesting talking to someone who was over there, didn't agree with us being there, but who still tried to make the best of it by trying to do as much humanitarian good for the Iraqi people as he could. "Best of a bad situation", he told me. He got back, got out and finally made it to college, getting an accounting degree. They took me a to a bar/grill and we sat outside in this little lattice-covered side garden, drinking beers and talking. It was effortless and completely smile inducing. We talking about family and religion (and lack thereof), music, travel and philosophy. It was so nice, and Trevor made me feel so comfortable and like I could be myself. I know it sounds weird, but I did not want my presence to make him at all uneasy or threatened, if that makes any sense. I won't lie - Aline was beautiful. And smart and funny and sweet and typically reserved yet incisive. Her English was amazingly good, but she still had her accent, it was just a little lighter. But still there and still insides-melting. So cute! She kept smiling at me and just looking at me like I was...interesting! I assumed that since she and Trevor were taking me out for beer that they weren't practicing Mormons anymore - I was right. Well, I didn't know if Trevor had ever been Mormon, but it turns out that he was raised in the church but has been lapsed for some years. As for Aline, I'd had a suspicion for a while, but I never wanted to be rude, so I never brought it up till tonight. It was a far cry from her proselytizing me all those years. Not that I care, people change a lot in 10 or 5 or even 1 year, but now, it was like she...emerged. It was fascinating and cool and clear. We finished up at the bar and went up to a hilly neighborhood overlooking all of SLC and the valley. It was that desert warm/cool sort of thing, if that makes sense. Breezy. I loved how Trevor kept her warm and how they laughed and interacted like two people who seem relieved and fortunate to have found each other do. A small, guilty part of me wished it was me that was holding her, taking her hand, kissing her on the top of the head...just for a moment, to know what it was like. But the feeling passed. We stood up there talking and joking until it was time to start heading back to the hotel. I didn't want to go, I wanted the evening to last for days. We said our goodbyes - I shook Trevor's hand one more time and thanked him for everything. I hugged Aline again before I went - I told her 'obrigado' and still didn't want to let her go. I wanted more time. But I wasn't about to be greedy - even these few hours, especially after all this time, a blessing, a fun, glorious twist of fate. It's funny, when I messaged her asking if she wanted to meet up on my trip, she said she was just getting ready to send me a note asking if I wanted to get together when they came to San Francisco for the Outside Lands festival at the end of August. It's little things like that, those synchronicities, that warm my heart and make me realize what a good idea this was and that how now was absolutely the right time. Who knew, after 10+ years, countries and states apart we'd finally meet as such different, mature adults, yet still intrinsically the same in so many ways? It was affirming and unbelievable and cool and a total blast, and it made my head swim. And as bummed out as I was for it to end, I was simultaneously feeling so fortunate to have those hours in the first place. Those are memories that will be seared into my memory until the day I die. I hope to see 'em both again someday soon, they were so friendly and gracious. I needed a dose of welcome and hospitality like that more than I think I even realized until I got it. 8.18.08 I'm drinking a big Heineken out of a brown paper bag & eating a sub sandwich. I went out earlier but Kearney sucks. It's a landlocked Cape Girardeau, but in Nebraska. Ugh. I drove around trying to find the downtown area where there might be some non-chain restaurant nightlife, and found it, but there wasn't anything too promising. I picked one place since all the rest looked too hick. This one was...OK. I drank my Guinness and played Terminator 2 pinball, but the dudes at the pool table were "wooo"-ing and blaring Kid Rock the whole time. I don't think my British indie rock and Daft Punk went over too well. Then the bleached blonde, fake tanned local women came in. I felt out of place and split. So here I am. Kearney really is lame. I drove around and scoped the place out twice. They even have a University of Nebraska-Kearney here, you'd think there'd be something kicking. But then again, 4.5 years in Cape should have taught me that just because a place has a university, doesn't necessarily mean it has the amenities you think a college town should have. I drove ~750 miles today, SLC to mid-Nebraska. NPR keeping me focused through Wyoming and Bright Eyes and Conor Oberst's new solo LP giving me patience through the vast spaces of Nebraska. At least now I'm back in the central time zone. I can't wait to be home - I need people right now, especially after getting a big taste of that yesterday. 8.19.08 I couldn't leave Kearney quickly enough. I stopped in Lincoln to get a dose of culture, buildings taller than 2 stories, and a proper Americano . I actually got there earlier than I'd planned, so I treated myself and walked around downtown for a while & checking out the state capitol building. What an amazing piece of architecture! This huge classical tower rising above the corn and heat haze all around - spectacular. I took so many pictures of it, it's not even funny. The coffee and the "live in NYC '97" disc of the Counting Crows' "On A Wire" propelled me through the rest of Nebraska, a little bit of Iowa, and on through northwest Missouri to Kansas City. The KC to STL drive was easy, a stretch of I-70 I'd done a thousand times before. But at that point I was so sick of being in the car, it tended to drag. Plus 70 is so overrun with big rigs that it's tough to maintain a steady speed. I finally hit St. Charles, crossed the Missouri River, and made my way through the interminable NW suburbs. The reversible express lane was open eastbound, so I hurtled down it until I saw the St. Louis skyline unfold in front of me like an impeccably crafted pop-up book. The red brick, the Arch, the muddy river, the industrial steel of the bridges and the warehouses. It felt like home, an old friend that you know intimately but still haven't seen much of for a few years and need to get reacquanited with. I took 64 to Fairview Heights, 159 up through Belleville , around the fountain in the square, past my place of birth, and on through the cornfields to my folks' house. It was a low-humidity, relatively mild summer's evening, the perfect kind, with a spectacular sunset sky of pinks and iridescent blues. A perfect night to return. I arrived at the house, I hugged my folks, I drank a Schlafly, I took a walk at dusk, my favorite time on a midwestern summer night. I made it home.
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