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12-3-09 // 6:22 pm state of flux I can absolutely feel my anxiety levels creeping up (for no truly good reason, I might add) as the week goes by. The days are already getting too short to bear; waking up to frigid darkness, a precious 15 minutes of weak sunlight as I drive to the gym, watching the sun go down and the streetlights flicker on as I run in place. I'm trying mighty hard to fend off this seasonal affective bullshit. I know that's what it is, too. I mean, sure, there's the post-holiday bubble burst, back to normal, ugh-I-ate-too-much-crap dysphoric downturn, but it's almost always right at this time of the year where my brain chemistry goes a bit haywire. It all dovetails with that unpleasant reality that 98% of the time I'm fine with being alone, but damn if right now I don't need a cuddle. Exercise, taking a break from beer, flipping on the Christmas lights and quilts for one only go so far. But whatever, this is self-pitying, mopey crap and I know it. Time to go chop up some veggies for dinner.
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