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1-30-01 // 10.25 pm going to california NP: Led Zeppelin - "IV" The album actually just ended, but now I'm spinning it again. I'm in a Zeppelin kind of mood this evening: loud & explosive, but also quiet & melancholic. Now I'm eyeing "Houses of the Holy" and "Physical Graffiti" over there on the rack...perhaps it'll be a marathon. School's going alright, I feel so in control of that arena for the first time in ages. Hopefully it all doesn't fall apart later in the semester...but for now, I'm confident & still optimistic. How strange. Tonight Sara stopped by like she said she would when I ran into her the other day. Though she was only here for a few minutes & then left again -- I was hoping she'd stick around and we could sit around and talk like in the old days. But I guess not...the class meeting she was in my apartment block for was over..she's a busy woman these days & how can I compete with everything else? The answer is, I can't. Yes friends, welcome back to Glaring Inadequacy Theater -- I'm your star. I have the urge to just forget about everything & everyone and to just go lay, stone sober, on a beach in southern California for a week. No-one to talk to, no-one to remind me how much I loathe myself sometimes. Just sun, surf, a blanket, and perhaps a book & my minidisc walkman. It's been about ten years since I've been to LA, I think it's time for another visit soon. I need a girl to talk to, a friend to put her arm around my shoulder & kiss my cheek, to tell me it's all gonna be alright. Help.
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