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3-27-02 // 12.20 am the arc of a love affair For the first hour or so this evening after I picked her up, she seemed kind of nervous and fidgety. Something just seemed off in the conversation, you know? We were sitting there in the restaurant...she said she was thinking of things before she was saying them. She seemed distracted and lost in thought. I told her to just tell me what was on her mind. After what seemed like forever, she did. She said "I love you". And there I was nervous and worried that it was something bad. Look, I'll be honest here. I felt the awkward bits at the end of the conversations, too. I knew what I wanted to say, I knew I needed to tell her that she's everything I've ever wanted, that when I'm with her everything feels right because it is right. I knew what I felt, I know this is special. But I haven't had the most lucky love life in the past...inevitably I say something that scares the girl off. I wanted this to be different. I didn't want to come on too strong if that makes any sense. Perhaps I'm just too cautious for my own good sometimes. But she told me how she feels. Did I freak out like she feared? Never. Instead, she just put a huge smile on my face. I don't know if she believed me when I said it to her tonight as I dropped her off, but I'll say it again. I love you, Erin.
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