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4-11-02 // 9.12 am is there a place in this city, a place to always feel this way This morning I am mostly a wreck. I have rings under my eyes, I forgot to shave before I left home, I'm guzzling coffee like there's no tomorrow. I stayed up too late last night, messing around and reading the new Bridget Jones book that Erin lent me. It was just too warm an evening, too summerlike. I didn't want to sleep. There's a meeting this afternoon, apparently. I came to the conclusion a little while ago that I don't care at all about "mission success". Not even a little bit. It's one of those days out where you feel like you should be doing anything but what you're obligated to. I want to escape from work, go get Erin, and have a picnic in the park or something. Yeah. I bought tickets for next Saturday's Kids in the Hall show. I'm really psyched about this, I've heard that the stuff they're doing on this tour is fantastic. Oh, and I have to find a way to get Erin to one of the Matthew Sweet gigs happening next month, whether it's the infuriatingly over-21 show in St. Louis, or one of the two in Chicago. She needs to go. It'd be like me finding out Marillion are playing but not being able to get in. A tragedy. Things are OK with Erin. I think I've weirded her out...the whole secret diary thing and such. Something just feels a bit off the past couple of days. Which is making me feel terrible, I don't want her to feel bad or to have any doubts at all. I just want Erin to know that I love her. I love everything she is, I love her more than I think I've ever loved anything. I miss her when we're not together. Even if it's just for a day, or part of a day when we're at work. I wait for her emails, or her phone calls. She makes me smile and she makes me feel warm and alive on the inside. Also, I do think we're both just worn out. We need rest. Which is why this weekend's mini-break will be so great. A chance to recharge our batteries and spend a whole weekend just the two of us...that's going to be incredible. I even made a special mix tape for the drive out there. Right now I need more coffee.
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