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4-18-01 // 1.41 am in that tenderness I am floating away NP: Peter Gabriel - "Us" The past two days have been a blur. All I remember is writing SQL code, getting very pissed at an Oracle server, thinking, reading & writing about Australian English a lot, and going to what feels like a million group meetings for Software Engineering. I also recall buying groceries & burning a lot of CD-Rs. There are currently stacks of CDs everywhere in my bedroom, even more so than usual. But that's OK...I have to keep my mix tape/CD skills in top form. This afternoon I noticed something strange. You know the little guy on the Play-Doh logo? They redesigned him! He used to be all round-faced and he had a beret. Now he's "cool" & thinner with long-ish blonde hair and wears a backwards baseball cap. I think the old kid is still on the lid, but it's really hard to see. May as well not even be there. Man, everything changes...at least the Doh itself is still non-toxic. I keep thinking that I'm never going to fall in love again. Thinking that no-one is ever going to love me. I feel foolish for giving so much of myself so unconditionally. So this string of one-sided affections eats away at me. I just want to be #1 in someone else's eyes. Somebody please tell me what the hell is wrong with me.
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