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9-9-03 // 12.21 pm And others were born to stack shelves In the course of an hour and a half and one peer review, I went from optimistic and confident to being racked with self-doubt and pissed off at myself. A basic rule of programming is to not take criticism of your code personally. I understand this, and I don't resent people for pointing out my mistakes. That's their responsiblity as reviewers. However, I get really angry at myself for making errors I should have caught in the first place. Sometimes I truly don't feel cut out for this line of work. I mean, this company has scores of intelligent, creative engineers...and me. It's all very demoralizing at times. Even when I think I'm right, when my instincts tell me I'm approaching a problem the correct way, half of the time it seems that I'm wrong. Or I'll be right, but someone with more brains than me will pick it apart and point out little thing after little thing that has an issue. Blah. It's days like today that I wish I was back at one of my old manual labor jobs. I would love to be performing janitorial duties, delivering beer, or back on the mail van. I could definitely go for a round of loading gigantic packages onto the van and hauling them around. It was tiring and dirty work, but it didn't involve having people constantly making you feel like an intellectual nothing. Don't mind me, I just needed to vent. Sadly, I have quite a bit of work to do today, and another meeting to endure this afternoon. Once this horrid excuse for a working day is over, Ryan S will be coming over for a night of pizza, beer, cards and baseball. It will be most needed. I miss Erin. Wish I could've stayed in bed with her today, then once she got up, gone out for breakfast. It's the kind of day that had I thought I could get away with it, I should have played hooky. Alright, time to plow through the papers on my desk. Adios.
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