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10-7-02 // 10.32 am something so strong could carry us today NP: Crowded House - "Recurring Dream" Yeah, more Crowded House. It's just that sort of morning...I was listening to Coldplay in the car on the drive to work, but I figured that listening to Chris Martin being frantic and pounding on the piano for half an hour was enough for a while, I needed something slightly more placid while I readjust to work. Played the game of "Life" yesterday for the first time in ages. It's an odd game...I remember playing it as a kid and loving it, how it was a chance to (albeit in a pretend form) to do adult type things, like have a paycheck, spend money, drive a car, etc. Though coming back to it as an adult and playing it, it seems like the ultimate thing you wouldn't want to play. I mean, isn't the point of lesiure time to forget about the pressures and obligations of adulthood? Who wants to play a board game where you spend your free time paying bills and taking pay cuts? It's not like I was having a miserable time playing, it was actually fun...I'm not heartless. I just thought the shift in perception was funny, is all. I like strong coffee. I'm pretty sure I annoy the hell out of other people when I make a pot of coffee, but I can't help it. An interesting sensation is that feeling you get after drinking a couple of cups of medium-to-strong coffee...you're somewhat wired from the caffeine, and your stomach is complaining just a tiny bit. It's minor gastric discomfort and a caffeine buzz. It's weird and simultaneously annoying and interesting. There's nothing for me to do at work at the moment. Well, apparently there is something for me to do, but the person I'm supposed to sit down with to discuss it all has been in meetings constantly since Friday morning. He's been in one all day today, so far. I suppose eventually I'll become productive again, but for the moment, it's all waiting around. It's not like I'm whining because I'm getting a bit of a break, but I'd rather be busy at work...it makes the day go by so much more quickly. Something cool to do: put on headphones, preferrably studio style ones with enclosing earpieces. Play some music, anything will do, really. But only put one earpice on at first. Listen to like half of a song, then put the other earpiece on. The sudden transition from mono to stereo is a hell of a sensation. I can't stand it when things happen to people that you can't do anything about. Well, I can offer support, and offer advice, but sometimes it comes down to the fact that I can't do a damn thing. And I hate that feeling of helplessness. Because I always want to help. I'm not sure if that's a character asset or a flaw, if it's welcome or if it's annoying as hell. But it's how I am and who I am. I never want to see Erin hurt, I never want to see her cry, I never want her to feel frustrated or angry. I know sometimes it happens, and sometimes she just needs to cry or vent or do whatever she has to do. But I still wish it didn't happen. She deserves to be happy all of the time. It's Monday, and I'm mostly feeling...refreshed. That's not to say I didn't wish it was still the weekend.
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