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sic transit gloria

NP: Blue Nile - "Hats"

"Rushmore" -- best movie ever??
I watched it today for the first time in a few months, and as always, it was completely brilliant.

Today I did absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. I just sat around, watching TV, listening to music, and messing around on the computer. I didn't get the call to go in to work tomorrow, so that translates to another morning where I get to sleep in. Oh, I did do one worthwhile thing today -- whilst at Borders, I bought two big "Calvin and Hobbes" collections that I didn't already have, only six bucks each. If I don't have 'em all now, I'm awfully close.

So it's still terribly cold outside, I think it's snowing again at this very moment. The forecast calls for temps. to be low enough for the snow to stay on the ground for at least another week. Which is fine enough, I'd rather it be cold like this than unseasonably warm.

I think it's safe to say that I'm fed up with the crowds and traffic of the holiday season. I'm easily annoyed by suburbia. Small towns and big cities suit me just fine, but the suburban sprawl is where it all goes horribly wrong. Everyone's out shopping, everyone waits until the last minute. It's impossible to get from point A to point B because the streets & highways are packed with SUVs and pickup trucks.

My bedroom is, for some unknown reason, not icy cold tonight. Strange, as it's still business as usual outdoors.

I'm so tired. I'm sick of being alone, I can't stand living this life. I want to meet someone, fall head-over-heels for her. I want to spend cold winter nights curled up on the couch in front of the fire. I want kisses and caresses and a soft voice calling my name. I want pet names, inside jokes, and little gifts that make perfect sense. I want long walks hand-in-hand & embraces in public places. I want late night drives home through the empty city streets, her head on my shoulder. I want to have what everyone else has, I'd like to be normal for once. I want to be thought of first for a change, to be the person someone else can't get out of their mind. I want mutual want and need. It just seems like I've exhausted all the possibilities. No-one wants anything to do with me, and that makes me feel so worthless.

There has to be someone out there. Somewhere.

then / now