in the city


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5-12-02 // 12.34 pm

surely now can all of your hearts be free

NP: Marillion - "Seasons End"

I've been listening to the How We Live album a lot the past few days. I dunno, it's just always struck me as a perfect summer album. I'm not sure what it is about the LP, but it seems to demand to be listened to on headphones, walking through the streets of your city. It's full of urban imagery -- London market stalls, cars on the street first thing in the morning (that bit reminds me of walking down Euston Road at 6.30 am the day I left England). It's also great in the car, especially when you're anticipating getting where you're going. "Working Girl" reminds me of Erin. Not because she drives an off-hours taxi like the girl in the song, but I feel like the man in the song, on his way to see her, counting out every second before they're not apart anymore, feeling the joy and calm when he can finally wrap my arms around her again. I feel like that with Erin.

Last night was one of those that just seems to flow perfectly. Chinese food, bumper boats, driving around town...the carnival at the park was probably the most fun, the happiest I've been (and I've been unbelievably happy the past few months) in as long as I can remember. She just looks so beautiful...every single time I see her. I love walking hand in hand with her, and every so often glancing over to give her a smile. Sometimes when I do that, she's smiling back at me, and it just makes me melt, I feel like I'm going to lose the ability to speak. She does that to me, she makes my knees weak, she makes me tremble with joy. I think it's brilliant that despite the fact that we know each other so intimately, there are still moments where she makes me feel as shaky and nervous as the first date. This is a good thing, mind you...it's not nerves because of worry or anything, it's more of my insides being all jumbled up from me being in total awe of having someone so incredible. There's a line in a Kevin Gilbert song, "my whole life has been a constant ailment, you can provide a simple remedy". That just rings so incredibly true these days.

I used to wonder if there was a good bit that my life was going to eventually work it's way to. Back in the day I wasn't so sure....now I'm absolutely certain it was. And I'm living it right now.

I'm not sure if any of these things I'm saying make sense to anyone but me, but yeah...

Life is good. In mind, I know this constantly. Though it's good to sit down and write it out once in a while, just to remind myself just that little bit more.

then / now