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6-13-03 // 12.48 pm there there NP: Radiohead - "Hail To The Thief" This is a very good record. She's right when she says that it's not healthy to work as much as I have been. I can't help it though, I have to. Gotta have a job 'cause I gotta pay bills and have a place to live. I am quite overworked. Not that it matters to my manager(s) as all they care about is "making their numbers look good". I'm not a human being, I'm a tool used to meet schedules. I dunno, I currently feel like I'm spread far too thin, that I can't possibly devote the proper level of myself to everyone and everything that requires it. Work is eating up what feels like the majority of my time, which means I spend less quality time with Erin, I'm in contact less with my friends, my parents don't see me as much, etc. It just feels like I'm being pulled in a million different directions and can't hope to keep up. It totally blows, and it perpetuates this cycle of me being tired and foul-tempered, and then by association people around me getting cross with me. But like I said, what the hell can I do about it? More work to do this afternoon, then I leave for Carbondale around 5 o'clock. See friends tonight and part of tomorrow, come back and hopefully spend Saturday night with Erin, and Sunday it's either come in to the office for more work or spend the day shuttling between family members, visiting for Father's Day, or both. OK, I need to calm down and put my nose to the grindstone. I'm just frustrated because things suck right now. They'll get better, I'm convinced of it. Things go well when I have time to give to all of them.
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