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8-7-01 // 11.44 am the making of generic teen sex comedy #127 A bit of good news...the grand total cost for fixing the exhaust and muffler on my car? $24. Not a penny more. Turns out the muffler was still under warranty, so I got a new one for free. Me and my dad did the labor ourselves, so the only real cost was for a new tailpipe and some clamps. I've had it with the dog days of summer. Heat, humidity, haze...sitting in the driver's seat through endless miles of construction and traffic jams. I'm ready for winter, ready for wearing hockey jerseys and my long coat. I'm ready to shiver instead of sweat. My last day at the office is Friday. Then I'm off to visit Steve and his wife at their new place this weekend. Moving back to the apartment in uni town middle of next week, then I have to go to my cousin's wedding that Saturday. There's just so much activity in my life lately. Which is good, it keeps me busy and keeps my brain happy. And with so many things going right lately, I want to feel optimistic about this coming semester, about everything ahead of me. The sad thing is, I feel this way at the start of every new semester, or at the change of each new season...the only problem is nothing happens, and I'm disappointed. Which leaves me wondering, is it better to be optimistic only to have your hopes dashed, or is it easier to just never expect anything at all? I've flirted with both outlooks over the years, and I've yet to decide which one holds the most merit. I realize that I make my own destiny, that I'm the only one responsible for how my life turns out. Though despite all that, sometimes it's comforting to believe in the concept of fate. It's romantic to think that we each have a "soul mate" or whatever you want to call it. I'm just scared that I've alredy met mine, and it didn't work out. I suppose the only thing left to do is keep waiting...I'm young. Even if I have to wait the rest of my life, I'm sure my "one" is out there somewhere. She has to be. Doesn't she? Please say yes.
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