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8-18-04 // 3.57 pm cycling No music right now, but a little while ago it was Randy Newman. A meeting I was asked to attend (for someone else's project, to boot) at 3.30 still hasn't started, apparently due to most of the other participants being caught up in another meeting. That displeases me greatly. Work has been tough lately. Getting close to a deadline, which is usually bad enough, but it's even worse when you're a lead. It's amazingly stressful -- not that I'm saying the weight of the world rests on my shoulders or that other people also don't get stressed out. It's just that this level of stress is way higher than my normal level (see: June/July '03 for the last major time this happened). So anyway, the result is that it wears me down. I get less sleep since I get up earlier in order to be able to put in the extra hours needed without having to stay super late, so that way I can get home and still have some time to see Erin in the evening. But of course, once I get home I'm so worn out that I'm simply not pleasant. My brain wants to tune out for a change and I just want to sit there on the couch, maybe watch the ballgame, maybe mess around on the computer or whatever until 10 o'clock or whatever pathetically early hour rolls around and I start to yawn. I go to bed only to wake up at dawn to do it all again. I just loathe the way that the stress involved in meeting work committments negatively affects the rest of my relationships. I don't like being constantly tired, I don't like upsetting Erin, and I don't care for feeling like a zombie once I do escape from work. I needed to vent. Now maybe it's time for that damn meeting.
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