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9-3-03 // 11.38 am as the flickering neon stands ready to fuse NP: Elton John - "Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy" I've been feeling rather miserable this morning, a bit sick or something, I can't quite put my finger on it. However, in the past half hour or so, I seem to have turned the corner, which is good, considering that I have work to do today. Uh-oh, I sense a very particular desire welling up inside me. Every so often, for some unknown reason, my brain decides it wants to sit down and burn an entire evening listening to loads of Elvis Costello records. Tonight would actually be a very good night for such a thing, though I'm not sure it's possible as there's something wrong with my turntable, and the vast majority of my Costello albums are on vinyl. I have "King Of America", "Brutal Youth", and the old Rykodisc "Best Of" on CD, but I have all the rest of the proper albums on LP. Last night was very relaxing, Erin and I laid around in the spare bedroom, her playing the Sims on the PC, and me messing around on the iBook, reading, and listening to the Cards game on the radio. The last of the rain-cooled air was coming in through the window, and all was well. I was hoping to be able to hang out with Ryan S tonight, as Erin will be at work and I haven't seen him in a week or so, but he can't make it. Hrm. Perhaps I need to make more friends in the area. It's not like I'm friendless, I know plenty of people. But it seems like they're all spread out these days and the time scale between visits is measured in months or years. Ryan S is basically the only person in the area from the 'old days' that I'm still good, real friends with. I thought about visiting my parents after work, but I'll be seeing them on Saturday afternoon anyway, so I'll probably pass there. I'll probably end up going for a very long walk. Or maybe I'll finally catch up on all of the correspondence I've been letting pile up. I've been feeling very apathetic about answering email lately, I don't know why. I know it's rude to not give a prompt reply, and I hate it when it's me on the other end, but I just can't get into it. And I'd rather wait till I can compose a proper message and not lots of terse, ill-formed sorts of things. I toyed with the idea of buying a Polaroid camera, I absolutely love the way the photos make everything turn out looking like they're 20 years old when they're actually only 20 minutes. The camera itself is cheap enough, but the film is ridiculous. About twenty bucks for a pack of 20 exposures. I don't know if I could justify that cost to myself for what would basically be me just screwing around with the effect. Hrm. Can anyone else believe the US government's gall at going to the UN now and asking for supplementary troops? I realize that after a sufficient new resolution is passed, and after the US realizes that it probably won't get loads of help unless it cedes some authority, there'll likely be fairly widespread answers to the request for assistance. Though I would imagine that for nations like France or Germany, you know, the non-hotheaded countries that we've embarrassingly and mercilessly ridiculed for daring to say "hey now, don't be so hasty Georgie boy", the initial gut reaction to the US request would be "go fuck yourselves, you only want us now that you're in over your heads". I'd think that the only reason they'd agree to a new UN resolution is out of respect for the Iraqi people, putting humanitarian needs ahead of politics. Regardless, I still think Bush's government has unrealistic demands. You can't expect to gain UN support while still wishing to retain authority over Iraqi operations. I dunno, it's the whole wanting to have its cake and be able to eat it too mentality that drives me insane. The fact that the invasion was even undertaken still pisses me off. Honestly. For a while, the constant barrage of images, information, propaganda and spin totally numbed me, and I found myself actually thinking "I don't care in the least what happens with this anymore" in regards to Iraq and American foreign policy. Though lately, that outrage that I felt in February, March, and even before that has returned. I get ill when I think about the direction this nation is heading in, and even more ill when I realize there's not much I can do about it. Yeah, I have and will continue to vote, but it increasingly feels pointless. Yeah, I still just don't feel right today. Not sure if it's the shifting weather, if I'm coming down with something, or if I need more sleep or what. Oh well, day'll be over soon enough.
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