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dirty dream number two

NP: Belle & Sebastian - "The Boy with the Arab Strap"

For a good part of the evening I've just been holed up in my room listening to Belle & Sebastian albums. That says something about me, but I'm not exactly sure what.

It's kind of cool outside but the relatively comfortable air is having trouble getting into my bedroom. It's not like I have an attic fan or anything. So I currently have my little black box fan going (which is basically always running) and the oscillating fan from the living room sitting in front of the window in an attempt to draw in cooler air. I'm just waiting on the cold front that I know is just about ready to push through. It's kind of sad that I'm anticipating a mass of cold air getting pushed eastward by an area of low pressure. But it's OK, I'll admit to being the kind of person who watches the Weather Channel. In the summer, when I'm up at my parents' place, I watch the local news' weather reports each night. Dave Murray on Fox 2, he knows his meteorology.

Ennui...is that the word I'm looking for? Meaning "discontented boredom"...I think that's the one. But that just about describes how I'm feeling now. I need to escape this town for a while. I need to get away from here for good. Only about a year left...

I want to drive up to St. Louis with a girl by my side. I miss the days of drives up the interstate with her, conversation interrupting whatever's coming from the car tape deck. I want to take the metro out to Forest Park & lay down on a blanket in the grass. I'd love to take a walk through the Botanical Gardens, maybe wander through the Shaw neighborhood for a while. Perhaps stop for a pint in one of the pubs in U City on the way home. Hmmm...I just want something to happen and to have someone to share it with.

I'm so tired that all I want to do is to go to bed. But at the same time, I'm so anxious that all I want to do is leave this flat and go somewhere, anywhere. I think the bed is going to win this round...but I'm not sure who's going to take the entire bout.

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