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11-7-01 // 10.10 pm she's addicted to nicotine patches NP: Tori Amos - "From the Choirgirl Hotel" I woke up this morning fifteen minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I got up for a drink of water, then decided to just shut off the alarm and go back to sleep. Woke up at about eleven-thirty feeling reinvigorated. Sometimes you just have to say "to hell with it" and just stay in bed. Despite my late start, I did get quite a bit done today. Went to my afternoon class, then went and got a haircut. Have I ever mentioned how the one barber at the shop I frequent looks a lot like a fatter Martin Sheen? In any case... I also managed to get about three pages of my term paper written, as well as doing the rest of the problem set for prob/stats. So now I'm kicking back with a bottle of beer, feeling very worn out mentally. I've discovered that my car has an antifreeze leak. It's running fine as long as I refill the coolant tank once a week or so, but it's extremely annoying. Jared's throwing a party a week from Saturday. Which is cool, 'cause that means he's inviting girls from his department. Girls I don't know! But wait...he's so kindly informed that some of these girls are gay, and the rest are 'taken'. Except for one girl, who he described as "high-maintenance", "loud", and "not your type". Well alright, opportunity ruined before it even began! I wish I had her current phone number...right now I just really want to call, to hear her voice. But no, I have to wait for an email or a letter or whatever it is she's gonna send next. I shouldn't even be this way, seeing as how it's so long after the fact. I suppose it's just hard to draw a final conclusion when she moves in waves. This summer I accepted that I'd never hear from her again. After that, after all my attempts to salvage a working relationship and all her dismissals of my offerings...then she decides she wants to be part of my life again. But now, just like always, she's apparently decided to revert back to the cryptic, detached persona that infuriates me so much. I just don't know what I mean to this girl anymore. I hope she knows just how much she means to me...lord knows I've told her on more than one occasion. Some people just don't know how good they have it. I suppose that would also apply to me sometimes.
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