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11-16-00 // 12.35 am god only knows NP: Beach Boys - "Pet Sounds" Busy day today, lots of classes plus work. I spent a couple of hours poring over the last program in my Java assignment. It now works like a charm. This morning, I got out of my biology lab an hour early, so I made the best of the free time by taking a walk. It was a nice day today, lots of high clouds in the sky which gave the sun that hazy, filtered look that you really only get in fall. I got a note from Aline today. It was totally out of the blue as we haven't been in touch for a few months now. So I got the quick greeting, some sweet questions, and of course the obligatory 'church speech' she usually ends up sending along. It's always great to hear from her, but I really wish she'd drop this religious stuff. There's a reason the Catholic dogma I was brought up in didn't stick -- religion and my mind do not mix. It's like oil and water. Now I'm all about the basic tenets and sentiments behind Christianity and many other religions -- the golden rule is about as close to a personal philosophy as I get. But adhering to the trappings and narrow-mindedness a major religion expects of you -- I can't do that. I've tried several times in my life and it just doesn't take. This is how I am -- I don't know if there's a god or a "higher power" or anything like that. I don't personally believe in one -- my intuition and all the evidence I've gathered in my relatively brief tenure on this planet points to "no". Of course, there's always the chance that I'm wrong, and that when I die, I'll awaken in the Great Beyond going "oh wow, sorry man, I guess I was way off on this..." I look at atheists and hard-line religious folk with the same suspect eye -- nobody knows for certain what's going on. At least I don't pretend to. But yeah, Aline... I'd be a big fat liar if I said I didn't ever think about her and miss her like crazy. I've already decided that tomorrow will be a class-free day of sleeping in, "Quantum Leap" marathon watching, laundry doing, and coursework catching-up-on. I think I've earned it after working so hard on my Java stuff and finishing it so ahead of schedule. My bed may be small, but sometimes it feels so huge and so empty. Tonight I wish I had someone to share it with.
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