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12-2-00 // 1.10 am the mississippi delta was shining like a national guitar NP: Paul Simon - "Graceland"
I finally put Christmas lights up around the entire flat...they look fabulous. Who needs regular light bulbs when you have colored Xmas lights? I might just leave these up year-round.
All of my friends are getting married...and I don't even have any steady dates. I'm now the "single guy" in my group of mates -- I was pointed to as a clue for the word "alone" in a game of charades. Whatever. It's like in the course of a year my friends have gone from fun-loving early twenty-something folk to engaged/married, boring-weekend-night people. It's not that I don't enjoy their company -- because I do. But it's weird to become the "odd man out" after such a short period of time. I'm lonely. I'm angry at the women I've loved but who haven't loved me back for whatever reason. I'm frustrated because I thought I'd found my true love and it ended up not working out due to circumstance. I'm bitter because I have to go to bed alone again tonight. Good night. I'd love to be able to share just one kiss, just one embrace. Good night you lucky bastards.
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