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12-11-00 // 12.50 am country feedback NP: R.E.M. - "Out of Time" She sits down on the arm of the chair & rests up against me. She's running her hands through my hair, I'm sitting there drinking a beer and feeling confused. She says "haven't seen you in a while" as if somehow I've been hiding out for the better part of a season. She tells me to sit down on the bed next to her. Despite that the room is full of people, it feels like the space is totally empty. I sit down & listen to her go on about something or other...I have another beer...I imagine that the room is empty. I get into the passenger's seat of her car. We drive to the river...Prince is on the radio. She asks where to park, I tell her. We meet everyone else past the floodgate...she's wearing a sweater but no coat. I begin to offer her my longcoat, but think twice. I am cold too. Each of us lights the traditional end-of-semester cigar...I walk around with mine, it's one of those things I don't outright enjoy, but still indulge in on occasion. I smoke the thing down to the last quarter of its length, I'm the first to flick the remnants in the river and give the trational toast. The real testimonial remains in my head, dedicated to the girl in the fuzzy sweater standing a few feet from me. We stand outside the door, in the rain, unable to get inside. She shivers...I try to put my arm around her shoulder, she shifts slightly and it ends up around her waist instead. There are people closer to the door...I wish that just for a few moments we could be alone. We're inside, we sit down at the table next to each other. I turn to her to answer a question & happen to look into her eyes...I always get lost in her eyes. We turn back to the rest of the group, later she rubs her shoulder up against me. It's very late, I'm finishing off the last bottle of beer. She's leaving. I tell her it was great to see her again. She asks me if I'm going to be around for Christmas...I tell her I'll be in St. Louis. We embrace, my arms wrap tightly around her waist...I pull her closer to me, as if trying to ensure she can never move away. She walks out the door.
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